so you know what, this actually sounds a little familiar, except instead of trying to gain something in order to live these guys want to gain something in order to die. so he's kind of blinking for a moment to process all of that.]
But...if you gained a body, there's way more you could do to actually give your life meaning instead of waiting to die. You said you don't remember anything about your original forms, didn't you? If you had new ones, you could experience all kinds of stuff that you might have once really liked before. It doesn't have to just be creating them just to die. You should be able to live a full life with the new vessel.
[he doesn't quite say so, but he's a little passionate about this! wow! i wonder why. but he very firmly believes that the ea should consider trying to find a new meaning for themselves because every life is different.]
[ this seems to have taken a turn of the worst? in a way, it seems darker now, as though a chill will readily run down his spine. his expression hardens with a frown, and... as far as he can tell, the world before and this? they are not only very different but seem to have lost their meanings.
he's going to just let Sora do the talking here, sorry. because while he has his own thoughts it is... much harder to put it into words, to get the message across but Sora says it just fine. he is in some agreement with it.
but there's also some doubt if because... it seems almost simple, to be hopeful and have a better outlook in change, and yet this Ea wants to change back? ]
Do you regret it? [ he directs to the Ea. do you regret changing your vessels? losing the body you once had? is that it? is that why they wish to experience... death? he doesn't question why sora seems a little passionate about this even if he looks a bit curious. ]
[the ea just shakes its... well, top half, which is sort of its head when it's not detached.
"no, no, i am afraid we are quite past that now. we shed our bodies in order to gain longer lives, you see; our old ones were frustratingly middling. too short to do much of use with, yet too long to simply enjoy. and once we had broken the limit of mortality, granting ourselves lives as long as he wished... we thought of what other limits we might surpass. knowledge, for one. if we could learn where the universe had come from, we then could predict the future, and know what would become of it.
there would be no point to creating new lives, no enjoyment to be found in it. we know the truths of the universe, and we do not wish to live to see them come to pass."
"you... truly do not wish to live? not for anything?" the squirrel repeats, distressed. "you feel so-- no, not empty, not that, but neither are you only sad."]
[can they just go back to beating stuff up? he was a lot better at that. part of him wants to tell the ea that maybe they just used their bodies and motivations wrong but that probably won't help.
unfortunately, the longer the ea talk, the more annoyed he becomes because:]
That doesn't make any sense! You want bodies to experience death, but you don't want to live in them? What's the point of dying if you don't have something to die for? [which sort of goes right back to the whole question of why people fight in wars, but that's neither here nor there.]
I get that destiny and the future are scary, and that there are things you just can't control, but if you don't have a meaning to your life you'll never experience death the way it should be felt.
[maybe they should ask who tf "he" is, but no, he's just going to be mad without actually explaining why.]
[ honestly? Naib is right there with Sora. CAN they go back to beating stuff up?? he's just never been good when it comes to this... philosophical thinking. any extensive thinking beyond the universe and beyond he just... he just focuses on the lives of others, protecting them, and being able to see the next day. that was enough for him.
he cannot fantom wanting to know so much to that point. to want to surpass the limits and see how far they can reach beyond the universe for a truth and just... reject it? to forget about it?
Sora is asking making good points but there's just a gut feeling they won't get the answer they're looking for or... want, really. he rubs at his forehead, feeling a bubbling of frustration just as the teen beside him becomes equally annoyed. it really feels like they're talking to a wall?? ]
The moment you left behind your old life... [ you lost the appreciation and the meaning to living. you can't really appreciate life if you live for too long! or, just, never die! but that's just how he thinks. he shakes his head. ] ..No point in getting answers from them.
["death is not a grand statement," it says, with another wobble. "it is simply an escape from a life not worth living. the universe is dying, and we have determined in as precise a manner as is possible that this process cannot be stopped."
what use is eternal life, if it will end regardless-- what use is a short one, with that knowledge looming over it?
"one day none of this will matter. not i, not us. not you. i know that this seems to be too much for your corporeally-bound minds to process, but in its own way... perhaps this is a gift, not to understand."
their little squirrel is looking between them and the ea. around them a few more have emerged from their crystals, and while they don't seem to be any sort of threat, mood squirrel doesn't look so good.
they despair at the coming of the end, of all they have ever worked for-- it's so heavy, it says, quiet. so heavy. so sad. you're angry.]
this is also about the time sora usually summons his keyblade and just fights his way out of whatever he doesn't want to hear, but he can't this time. like naib, he's struggling to really understand why they would ever want to do something like this. why is it so important to know the truth before you've ever lived it instead of letting yourself live?
their little squirrel isn't doing well, and sora's about to open his mouth to maybe go off on the ea for not listening until he hears the squirrel again.
"you're angry."
"their despair...it's so heavy. so sad."
and just like that the anger fizzles out a little. he isn't entirely sure what to say, but he looks at the squirrel first before he looks at naib. after a bit, he finally addresses the ea.]
You're right. Maybe it is a good thing we don't understand. But you're still wrong. Even if a process can't be stopped, there's still time to do things with your life before it ends. And maybe there's a way you haven't even thought of yet. You can't control destiny, but there are still ways you can change your fate.
[there's a pause.] Maybe one day this won't matter, but if it matters right now then that should be what's important. And even if you know how your life will end, it's still yours. No amount of knowledge will tell you how it will go until you experience it yourself.
[seriously why the hell did we send these two on an adventure where they have to philosophize with something that continually beheads itself.]
"i know that this seems to be too much for your corporeally-bound minds to process, but in its own way... perhaps this is a gift, not to understand."
you know, maybe it is. even if someone offered to tell him what or when the end of the universe will come, he wouldn't care to know. doesn't care to even now. his own frustration simmers. it's not as if these ea people mean anything to him... their lifestyle, their outlook on everything, it has nothing to do with him.
would they be despairing if they knew the truth too? probably. Naib doesn't think he'll live any different. he'll continue what he's always done. love that Sora is just doing the protag speech as expected and Naib is just Here. if the moment wasn't so serious he'd probably thumbs up here at him. ]
...It won't change how we'll live our lives. [ so it's okay. keep away from despair, kids! have hope!!! though, he doesn't like that there are more of them? emerging from the crystals around? ummm ] We might be done here.
[i gave you trauma and now you get philosophy this is just how it works. maybe the headache from this counts as trauma, too. who knows!
"we have evaluated the possibilities in roughly.... seventy billion, eight hundred and forty-three million, nine hundred and twenty-one thousand ways," the ea says. "i assure you, we have studied this extensively, but if it reassures you to think so, you can certainly continue. you will not see the outcome in your own lifetimes."
the other ea nod (presumably, anyway), but they don't advance; they were simply drawn by the conversation, by the presence of living beings.
mood squirrel still seems affected by their collective bad vibes, and when naib suggest that they're done here, it nods sadly and begins to pick them up off the ground again.
"if you cannot change destiny, what separates this from fate...?" it wonders. "and if there are things we may not change, must we simply suffer them...?"
it's a little rhetorical, probably. the ea simply watch as they're spirited up and away, off into the stars, but this time-- before they reach a planet, they pause. they are suspended out there among the stars and galaxies, with nothing else in sight.
mood squirrel blinks up at nothing in particular, before it echoes: yes? yes, i hear you. ....yes. you may.
and then it goes quiet, seemingly listening to something.]
[the headache is trauma, yeah. but naib suggests they're finished and sora realizes it's a losing argument. and anyway...it's not like he doesn't already know he may never see further outcomes.
but things have changed. things continue to change, and while he's on the defense with the existence of more of the ea appearing, once they begin to float away he watches them drift and listens to the squirrel.]
...there are still things you can change. [rhetorical or not, he answers.] Sometimes, you have to understand hurt in order to really change anything at all. There are some things that are destined to happen no matter what, but your own fate can be taken back and changed by your own hands. Don't forget that.
[and then they're up in the stars and floating away. the squirrel speaks, and he blinks right back because...uh?
[ they're def gonna have some serious migraines once this is before. what a ride, mostly emotionally. ]
...He's right. Sometimes, you can't really experience what it means to live without some hurt. [ without some pain. it's why you appreciate it so much more. it's why he's still able to have hope despite all the pain. ] You can't go entirely one without the other.
[ as for destiny and fate... but your own fate can be taken back and changed by your own hands. those are some strong words to live by.
he thinks about them, ponders. but then he notes that they aren't... moving? uhhh-- ]
...? [ seems like their little mood squirrel has picked up something? ] Everything alright?
["yes, it's all right-- my siblings, they-- but this report is off schedule..."
the squirrel seems confused... but then it kind of totally zones out, staring up at the stars, clearly fully engaged in whatever this report is.
then, suddenly, it gasps-
and both of them are struck with overwhelming negativity. so is the mood squirrel, who cries out in distress at the suddenness and strength of it, its echoing voice disjointed.
what is-- is this all that there was-? all of those worlds, so much... so much despair. so cold. so lonely. so sad, so awful. why do they hurt? they hurt, they hurt, they hurt, they-- they hate. they HATE.
the squirrel is trembling, completely shaken by whatever it's being transmitted.
make it stop, please, make it stop-
there is a presence around them, encroaching, but not yet identifiable.]
[he's about to reply, but wow. negativity is bad! these are some bad vibes and there's a sound like surprise as his hand immediately flies up like he can shield the squirrel. ]
What--it's alright! [is it? he's trying to listen close to see if he can pick up the source of the negativity or what the squirrel hears, but it's a little overwhelming, actually!]
What's going on? [hope naib is having a better time. ]
[ ah, negativity! not that Mercenary has always been an overly optimistic positive person, dwelling more on neutral and sliding to and fro depending on the situation. but an overwhelming feel of it? oh, it's definitely a lot.
enough he'd probably puke but not sure how that'll be in space. he'll bite it back, but his stomach twists and he clutches at his head. his other hand grips to grab Sora's arm, as if to remind himself they're both here despite the flood of negativity.
it's as if he'll drown in it. it's truly... truly awful. it sucks! ]
What.. do we do? [ how do you make a mood squirrel turn off??? life alert?!?! ]
["everything... everything else they found-- so many worlds, already gone. empty. destroyed at the hands of their own populations. is there no true happiness? everything they tried to fix, they only made worse.
they thought they did their best. it wasn't enough. it wasn't enough...
what meaning is there in all of this?"
the odd presence they feel begins to resolve itself. the negativity, the pressure-- they aren't helped by the new arrivals, a swarm of what appear to be more mood squirrels, all emanating a dark aura.
it is all right, they say. we will make it right. we will give the universe a gift-- the gift of oblivion from this despair. no more destruction, no more suffering. not ever again.
do your companions not wish to be freed from this torment? will you not come with us?]
[oh this is bad. these squirrels are not as cute, actually. i truly wish he would say that yes, he'll go and just get the fuck away from all of this, but...he's still himself, even in the face of overwhelming negativity.]
Go...where? [he shakes his head.] There has to be another way...even if everything is gone, you're still here. Those worlds can be rebuilt and brought back. Giving up isn't an option.
[also, giving up sounds a lot like possibly dying for a universe that isn't his own, and like. no. he can't do that. he can't leave them again for something he isn't a part of.]
You can still change things! [SQUIRRELS ARE BAD ACTUALLY.]
[ swarm of rats mood squirrels... you know, when it said siblings, it's not too surprising but also. that's some dark vibes coming from them. creepy, negative vibes!
but hearing their 'promises' of.. no more suffering? destruction? away from despair? freed from it all?
just as Sora says, Naib bites out more assuredly. ] Giving up isn't the only option.
[ it may be an option to some, but not to him! not to them? there is more than plenty of fire and fight in Naib. he refuses for it to go out, just as he refuses that small gleam of hope in him deep down to go out either. ]
Not sure where you want us to go, but we have a place to go back to. Where we need to be. [ it's not the best place but... their companions are there. companions they need to protect. there is not a single moment of consideration. he just flat out refuses.
ty voice at the beginning: squirrel is friend! nothing can go wrong here! ]
[rebuilt from what? naught remains of them. we have helped them to end their suffering-- no more will their souls be reborn into this terrible existence. they know only the bliss of nothingness, and their worlds shall not live again.
their voices are soft, soothing despite what they say.
the two of you should know the same. you shall go nowhere. but you, our dear, dear sibling... will you not lend us your aid? your voice? will you not join us?
the mood squirrel whimpers.
"i don't... but... is it truly so terrible?" it asks, voice wavering. "they do not believe so. i feel it. i do. even now."]
That's not...[he wants to ask if they even gave those people a choice, if that's what they wanted. nothingness still doesn't sound so great, especially since he's just spent a whole year vibing in nothingness. it sounds...depressing, but he frowns.
naib has a point though and he nods. giving up isn't the only option, but...he will turn to the squirrel.]
What does your heart tell you? There are still so many worlds out there, and people, too. You don't have to stay if you don't want to. You can come with us.
[...can it. there's another glance at naib like "can it????" nott truly just told them there's an evil squirrel out there and yet sora wants to help the mood squirrel anyway.]
[ honestly, he doesn't even know if it can. nott might kill it??? but. you know, he does know something...? ]
...You can tell from us, can't you? [ fuck those other mood squirrels, he's talking to THEIR mood squirrel ] You can feel it from him. You can feel it from me.
[ from the Mercenary, who has lived a horrible and harsh life... finding hope even in the simplest thing like rain. that despite the harshness and cruelty of war, he's still capable of it. still sees the world can bring upon good. he knows his life is nothing like Sora's. but that makes them two examples that are right here, alive and living.
[this is such a cute naib icon what the fuck? what the fuck.
"my heart...?"
the squirrel considers this, still overwhelmed as it looks between the two of them. it's there, beneath the overwhelming hopelessness here, and the fact the two of them are so different... it lends more credence to both of them. it isn't that they've just both led lives that gave them these answers, it's that theirs are so different and they've arrived here anyway. despite everything.
"i... i do," it says. "i don't want this."
the horde of squirrels screeches at this refusal, angry, despairing, and closes in. it overwhelms them not only with those feelings, but draws off whatever memories they can pick from the two of them. any time they've felt worse than any other, when they might have hurt in a way that it felt like they couldn't recover from, or felt like things might never improve-- or perhaps even just, very simply, the worst they've ever felt.
it feels real. it feels stifling. somewhere in the background, their own mood squirrel squeaks, pained.]
the squirrel makes its decision, and sora feels a little sense of relief and maybe some pride that they were able to choose. of course, that doesn't last for long before the horde starts to close in and overwhelm them with anger and despair.
it hits him quite suddenly. the hopelessness as he was sent away from his island and his world was destroyed, friends scattered across the worlds. the emptiness as donald and goofy left him behind and riku told him he was just the delivery boy, unworthy of the keyblade. the rage he felt at having his fate meddled with. the anger every time he clashed against ansem. then xemnas. then xehanort, repeatedly, over and over again. the despair of losing those closest to him over and over again. the way riku tried to tell him he wasn't worthless, the way he tried to protect both of them and they were still swallowed by darkness. the way xehanort took kairi and destroyed her before his eyes, split her heart into several pieces just to get a rise out of him.
all of them all at once is so much...but still. even so. there's the light that never goes out. there's always that small bit of hope, and it's when he hears the squirrel that he a.) grabs onto naib to make sure they don't get separated in case the horde attacks and b.) cups his other hand around the squirrel to shield it as best as he can.]
there's a brief relief from the Mercenary as well, that despite their siblings it still manages to decide for itself. good. good for you, little mood squirrel which they still do not know the name of.
but that suffocation of emotions, of those dreaded memories, is so so overwhelming. he thought the negativity was before but this? it's a whole other level of awful. the times he's had to abandon his comrades just to save his own life. despairing at that fact. and although Naib continued to fight, his friends had left the military behind and moved on, and Naib wondered what to do with himself. who was he? what use was he? why... why was he still even fighting? even when he was forced, having to pit him against his people and former comrades he had to leave. had to drop everything and leave that life behind. it had been the last straw.
it's harder to breathe. his chest heaving, gasping, throat tight as if truly suffocating. imagine he just dies here? but the weight of another on him shakes him out of his stupor. reminds him to breathe, to try. to grasp so desperately because he kept saying again and again... despite the cruelty of the world, a man like himself can still have hope.
he... he has to remember that. he has to. he grips back just as firmly to Sora, vision blurring and he tries to keep himself ground despite still suspending in space! but seriously, please enough. ]
[they cling to each other, despite everything. despite all of the suffering inflicted on them, the weight of that negativity. there is still a spark there, and their squirrel picks up on it too.
"stop it! stop!!"
it cries out-- and then there's a light emanating from it, pushing the horde back. it glows from within both of them, too, as they cling to the hope that they have, and the glow brightens. it surrounds them, shields them, so radiant they can't even hear the other squirrels, the despair fading. they are instead suffused with that feeling of hope, with its warmth.
and when it fades, they float alone among the stars once more.
"they are not gone forever, but... but they are gone for now. i think-- i think you have shown me what i needed to see.
[their squirrel is a godsend, maybe. he hears it crying it out he feels naib holding on, even if his eyes are trying to close just to block out the pain and make everything stop.
but then there's the light. it's warm and real and bright, and as the glow comes from all of them and protects them he takes a gasp of air to refocus, head shooting up to gaze around.
the horde's missing, but not forever. that's enough for now. he looks to naib to make sure he's still there, but he still doesn't quite let go. this squirrel is still on sora's shoulder but he watches the stars briefly as he thinks.]
...we need to go back. We have things to live for, too. And there's still a few things we have to take care of. But you can still come with us. You don't have to be alone.
[he vaguely wonders how either of them would have done if they'd been alone with this squirrel, actually, but. hm. he turns to naib again.]
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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ah.
hm.
so you know what, this actually sounds a little familiar, except instead of trying to gain something in order to live these guys want to gain something in order to die. so he's kind of blinking for a moment to process all of that.]
But...if you gained a body, there's way more you could do to actually give your life meaning instead of waiting to die. You said you don't remember anything about your original forms, didn't you? If you had new ones, you could experience all kinds of stuff that you might have once really liked before. It doesn't have to just be creating them just to die. You should be able to live a full life with the new vessel.
[he doesn't quite say so, but he's a little passionate about this! wow! i wonder why. but he very firmly believes that the ea should consider trying to find a new meaning for themselves because every life is different.]
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he's going to just let Sora do the talking here, sorry. because while he has his own thoughts it is... much harder to put it into words, to get the message across but Sora says it just fine. he is in some agreement with it.
but there's also some doubt if because... it seems almost simple, to be hopeful and have a better outlook in change, and yet this Ea wants to change back? ]
Do you regret it? [ he directs to the Ea. do you regret changing your vessels? losing the body you once had? is that it? is that why they wish to experience... death? he doesn't question why sora seems a little passionate about this even if he looks a bit curious. ]
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"no, no, i am afraid we are quite past that now. we shed our bodies in order to gain longer lives, you see; our old ones were frustratingly middling. too short to do much of use with, yet too long to simply enjoy. and once we had broken the limit of mortality, granting ourselves lives as long as he wished... we thought of what other limits we might surpass. knowledge, for one. if we could learn where the universe had come from, we then could predict the future, and know what would become of it.
there would be no point to creating new lives, no enjoyment to be found in it. we know the truths of the universe, and we do not wish to live to see them come to pass."
"you... truly do not wish to live? not for anything?" the squirrel repeats, distressed. "you feel so-- no, not empty, not that, but neither are you only sad."]
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unfortunately, the longer the ea talk, the more annoyed he becomes because:]
That doesn't make any sense! You want bodies to experience death, but you don't want to live in them? What's the point of dying if you don't have something to die for? [which sort of goes right back to the whole question of why people fight in wars, but that's neither here nor there.]
I get that destiny and the future are scary, and that there are things you just can't control, but if you don't have a meaning to your life you'll never experience death the way it should be felt.
[maybe they should ask who tf "he" is, but no, he's just going to be mad without actually explaining why.]
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he cannot fantom wanting to know so much to that point. to want to surpass the limits and see how far they can reach beyond the universe for a truth and just... reject it? to forget about it?
Sora is asking making good points but there's just a gut feeling they won't get the answer they're looking for or... want, really. he rubs at his forehead, feeling a bubbling of frustration just as the teen beside him becomes equally annoyed. it really feels like they're talking to a wall?? ]
The moment you left behind your old life... [ you lost the appreciation and the meaning to living. you can't really appreciate life if you live for too long! or, just, never die! but that's just how he thinks. he shakes his head. ] ..No point in getting answers from them.
[ this is fucked! ]
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what use is eternal life, if it will end regardless-- what use is a short one, with that knowledge looming over it?
"one day none of this will matter. not i, not us. not you. i know that this seems to be too much for your corporeally-bound minds to process, but in its own way... perhaps this is a gift, not to understand."
their little squirrel is looking between them and the ea. around them a few more have emerged from their crystals, and while they don't seem to be any sort of threat, mood squirrel doesn't look so good.
they despair at the coming of the end, of all they have ever worked for-- it's so heavy, it says, quiet. so heavy. so sad. you're angry.]
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this is also about the time sora usually summons his keyblade and just fights his way out of whatever he doesn't want to hear, but he can't this time. like naib, he's struggling to really understand why they would ever want to do something like this. why is it so important to know the truth before you've ever lived it instead of letting yourself live?
their little squirrel isn't doing well, and sora's about to open his mouth to maybe go off on the ea for not listening until he hears the squirrel again.
"you're angry."
"their despair...it's so heavy. so sad."
and just like that the anger fizzles out a little. he isn't entirely sure what to say, but he looks at the squirrel first before he looks at naib. after a bit, he finally addresses the ea.]
You're right. Maybe it is a good thing we don't understand. But you're still wrong. Even if a process can't be stopped, there's still time to do things with your life before it ends. And maybe there's a way you haven't even thought of yet. You can't control destiny, but there are still ways you can change your fate.
[there's a pause.] Maybe one day this won't matter, but if it matters right now then that should be what's important. And even if you know how your life will end, it's still yours. No amount of knowledge will tell you how it will go until you experience it yourself.
[seriously why the hell did we send these two on an adventure where they have to philosophize with something that continually beheads itself.]
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"i know that this seems to be too much for your corporeally-bound minds to process, but in its own way... perhaps this is a gift, not to understand."
you know, maybe it is. even if someone offered to tell him what or when the end of the universe will come, he wouldn't care to know. doesn't care to even now. his own frustration simmers. it's not as if these ea people mean anything to him... their lifestyle, their outlook on everything, it has nothing to do with him.
would they be despairing if they knew the truth too? probably. Naib doesn't think he'll live any different. he'll continue what he's always done. love that Sora is just doing the protag speech as expected and Naib is just Here. if the moment wasn't so serious he'd probably thumbs up here at him. ]
...It won't change how we'll live our lives. [ so it's okay. keep away from despair, kids! have hope!!! though, he doesn't like that there are more of them? emerging from the crystals around? ummm ] We might be done here.
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"we have evaluated the possibilities in roughly.... seventy billion, eight hundred and forty-three million, nine hundred and twenty-one thousand ways," the ea says. "i assure you, we have studied this extensively, but if it reassures you to think so, you can certainly continue. you will not see the outcome in your own lifetimes."
the other ea nod (presumably, anyway), but they don't advance; they were simply drawn by the conversation, by the presence of living beings.
mood squirrel still seems affected by their collective bad vibes, and when naib suggest that they're done here, it nods sadly and begins to pick them up off the ground again.
"if you cannot change destiny, what separates this from fate...?" it wonders. "and if there are things we may not change, must we simply suffer them...?"
it's a little rhetorical, probably. the ea simply watch as they're spirited up and away, off into the stars, but this time-- before they reach a planet, they pause. they are suspended out there among the stars and galaxies, with nothing else in sight.
mood squirrel blinks up at nothing in particular, before it echoes: yes? yes, i hear you. ....yes. you may.
and then it goes quiet, seemingly listening to something.]
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but things have changed. things continue to change, and while he's on the defense with the existence of more of the ea appearing, once they begin to float away he watches them drift and listens to the squirrel.]
...there are still things you can change. [rhetorical or not, he answers.] Sometimes, you have to understand hurt in order to really change anything at all. There are some things that are destined to happen no matter what, but your own fate can be taken back and changed by your own hands. Don't forget that.
[and then they're up in the stars and floating away. the squirrel speaks, and he blinks right back because...uh?
he looks at naib.]
...did you hear anything?
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...He's right. Sometimes, you can't really experience what it means to live without some hurt. [ without some pain. it's why you appreciate it so much more. it's why he's still able to have hope despite all the pain. ] You can't go entirely one without the other.
[ as for destiny and fate... but your own fate can be taken back and changed by your own hands. those are some strong words to live by.
he thinks about them, ponders. but then he notes that they aren't... moving? uhhh-- ]
...? [ seems like their little mood squirrel has picked up something? ] Everything alright?
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the squirrel seems confused... but then it kind of totally zones out, staring up at the stars, clearly fully engaged in whatever this report is.
then, suddenly, it gasps-
and both of them are struck with overwhelming negativity. so is the mood squirrel, who cries out in distress at the suddenness and strength of it, its echoing voice disjointed.
what is-- is this all that there was-? all of those worlds, so much... so much despair. so cold. so lonely. so sad, so awful. why do they hurt? they hurt, they hurt, they hurt, they-- they hate. they HATE.
the squirrel is trembling, completely shaken by whatever it's being transmitted.
make it stop, please, make it stop-
there is a presence around them, encroaching, but not yet identifiable.]
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What--it's alright! [is it? he's trying to listen close to see if he can pick up the source of the negativity or what the squirrel hears, but it's a little overwhelming, actually!]
What's going on? [hope naib is having a better time. ]
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enough he'd probably puke but not sure how that'll be in space. he'll bite it back, but his stomach twists and he clutches at his head. his other hand grips to grab Sora's arm, as if to remind himself they're both here despite the flood of negativity.
it's as if he'll drown in it. it's truly... truly awful. it sucks! ]
What.. do we do? [ how do you make a mood squirrel turn off??? life alert?!?! ]
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they thought they did their best. it wasn't enough. it wasn't enough...
what meaning is there in all of this?"
the odd presence they feel begins to resolve itself. the negativity, the pressure-- they aren't helped by the new arrivals, a swarm of what appear to be more mood squirrels, all emanating a dark aura.
it is all right, they say. we will make it right. we will give the universe a gift-- the gift of oblivion from this despair. no more destruction, no more suffering. not ever again.
do your companions not wish to be freed from this torment? will you not come with us?]
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Go...where? [he shakes his head.] There has to be another way...even if everything is gone, you're still here. Those worlds can be rebuilt and brought back. Giving up isn't an option.
[also, giving up sounds a lot like possibly dying for a universe that isn't his own, and like. no. he can't do that. he can't leave them again for something he isn't a part of.]
You can still change things! [SQUIRRELS ARE BAD ACTUALLY.]
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ratsmood squirrels... you know, when it said siblings, it's not too surprising but also. that's some dark vibes coming from them. creepy, negative vibes!but hearing their 'promises' of.. no more suffering? destruction? away from despair? freed from it all?
just as Sora says, Naib bites out more assuredly. ] Giving up isn't the only option.
[ it may be an option to some, but not to him! not to them? there is more than plenty of fire and fight in Naib. he refuses for it to go out, just as he refuses that small gleam of hope in him deep down to go out either. ]
Not sure where you want us to go, but we have a place to go back to. Where we need to be. [ it's not the best place but... their companions are there. companions they need to protect. there is not a single moment of consideration. he just flat out refuses.
ty voice at the beginning: squirrel is friend! nothing can go wrong here! ]
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their voices are soft, soothing despite what they say.
the two of you should know the same. you shall go nowhere. but you, our dear, dear sibling... will you not lend us your aid? your voice? will you not join us?
the mood squirrel whimpers.
"i don't... but... is it truly so terrible?" it asks, voice wavering. "they do not believe so. i feel it. i do. even now."]
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naib has a point though and he nods. giving up isn't the only option, but...he will turn to the squirrel.]
What does your heart tell you? There are still so many worlds out there, and people, too. You don't have to stay if you don't want to. You can come with us.
[...can it. there's another glance at naib like "can it????" nott truly just told them there's an evil squirrel out there and yet sora wants to help the mood squirrel anyway.]
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...You can tell from us, can't you? [ fuck those other mood squirrels, he's talking to THEIR mood squirrel ] You can feel it from him. You can feel it from me.
[ from the Mercenary, who has lived a horrible and harsh life... finding hope even in the simplest thing like rain. that despite the harshness and cruelty of war, he's still capable of it. still sees the world can bring upon good. he knows his life is nothing like Sora's. but that makes them two examples that are right here, alive and living.
yeah, he's ignoring the (hoard) ]
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"my heart...?"
the squirrel considers this, still overwhelmed as it looks between the two of them. it's there, beneath the overwhelming hopelessness here, and the fact the two of them are so different... it lends more credence to both of them. it isn't that they've just both led lives that gave them these answers, it's that theirs are so different and they've arrived here anyway. despite everything.
"i... i do," it says. "i don't want this."
the horde of squirrels screeches at this refusal, angry, despairing, and closes in. it overwhelms them not only with those feelings, but draws off whatever memories they can pick from the two of them. any time they've felt worse than any other, when they might have hurt in a way that it felt like they couldn't recover from, or felt like things might never improve-- or perhaps even just, very simply, the worst they've ever felt.
it feels real. it feels stifling. somewhere in the background, their own mood squirrel squeaks, pained.]
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the squirrel makes its decision, and sora feels a little sense of relief and maybe some pride that they were able to choose. of course, that doesn't last for long before the horde starts to close in and overwhelm them with anger and despair.
it hits him quite suddenly. the hopelessness as he was sent away from his island and his world was destroyed, friends scattered across the worlds. the emptiness as donald and goofy left him behind and riku told him he was just the delivery boy, unworthy of the keyblade. the rage he felt at having his fate meddled with. the anger every time he clashed against ansem. then xemnas. then xehanort, repeatedly, over and over again. the despair of losing those closest to him over and over again. the way riku tried to tell him he wasn't worthless, the way he tried to protect both of them and they were still swallowed by darkness. the way xehanort took kairi and destroyed her before his eyes, split her heart into several pieces just to get a rise out of him.
all of them all at once is so much...but still. even so. there's the light that never goes out. there's always that small bit of hope, and it's when he hears the squirrel that he a.) grabs onto naib to make sure they don't get separated in case the horde attacks and b.) cups his other hand around the squirrel to shield it as best as he can.]
Enough already! [leave! their squirrel! alone!]
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there's a brief relief from the Mercenary as well, that despite their siblings it still manages to decide for itself. good. good for you, little mood squirrel which they still do not know the name of.
but that suffocation of emotions, of those dreaded memories, is so so overwhelming. he thought the negativity was before but this? it's a whole other level of awful. the times he's had to abandon his comrades just to save his own life. despairing at that fact. and although Naib continued to fight, his friends had left the military behind and moved on, and Naib wondered what to do with himself. who was he? what use was he? why... why was he still even fighting? even when he was forced, having to pit him against his people and former comrades he had to leave. had to drop everything and leave that life behind. it had been the last straw.
it's harder to breathe. his chest heaving, gasping, throat tight as if truly suffocating. imagine he just dies here? but the weight of another on him shakes him out of his stupor. reminds him to breathe, to try. to grasp so desperately because he kept saying again and again... despite the cruelty of the world, a man like himself can still have hope.
he... he has to remember that. he has to. he grips back just as firmly to Sora, vision blurring and he tries to keep himself ground despite still suspending in space! but seriously, please enough. ]
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"stop it! stop!!"
it cries out-- and then there's a light emanating from it, pushing the horde back. it glows from within both of them, too, as they cling to the hope that they have, and the glow brightens. it surrounds them, shields them, so radiant they can't even hear the other squirrels, the despair fading. they are instead suffused with that feeling of hope, with its warmth.
and when it fades, they float alone among the stars once more.
"they are not gone forever, but... but they are gone for now. i think-- i think you have shown me what i needed to see.
do you... want to go back?"]
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but then there's the light. it's warm and real and bright, and as the glow comes from all of them and protects them he takes a gasp of air to refocus, head shooting up to gaze around.
the horde's missing, but not forever. that's enough for now. he looks to naib to make sure he's still there, but he still doesn't quite let go. this squirrel is still on sora's shoulder but he watches the stars briefly as he thinks.]
...we need to go back. We have things to live for, too. And there's still a few things we have to take care of. But you can still come with us. You don't have to be alone.
[he vaguely wonders how either of them would have done if they'd been alone with this squirrel, actually, but. hm. he turns to naib again.]
...you're okay?
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