[ Alright, we have reached an accord. So, Zer0 is just going to reach down a moment and grab Owen's collar by a four-fingered hand (not missing a finger, it is legitimately a four-fingered hand) and pull him up to the driver's seat. And then he drops this bombshell on him. ]
Can you drive a car? / No? Well, you better learn quick. / Get to it, chop chop.
[ Fortunately it seems like straight road, granted heading downwards for the time being so Owen doesn't need to do much... yet, but familiarise yourself quick. He'll leap down after unceremoniously plinking Owen down in that seat to also help Nuwa up, so now you can both scream in Driver's Responsibility. Or maybe you can just revel in the fact that you can just absolutely run everything over with a fucking armed-to-the-teeth steamroller, dealer's choice. ]
To the lowest floor. / A Vault Guardian will come. / I mean to kill it.
[A Vault Guardian is such a grandiose title, no less grandiose than 'Demon King' or the many self-proclaimed tyrants in Da'at. They're always no big deal, no reason to think this will be any different. Titles are always such a sign of weakness.
Nuwa grips Zer0 and gets up, accepting shared Driver's Responsibility. Move, Owen, you and Nuwa are sharing, yup.
........
Does this even have seatbelts? Perhaps that's only for trucks, she supposes. Well, whatever]
Full speed. Time is of the essence.
[Says the one who fully intends to bail if this looks like it'll crash against a wall. She probably would be able to pull that off without terrible injuries.
Truthfully, with the penchant for violence, the disregard for other people's lives and the drive to fulfill goals no matter what, she's halfway there to be a Vault Hunter. Perhaps we all should be glad she's not interested in being one, hah]
[ You're in a truckstop, who knows? Maybe your endgame trial will require you to drive a car, and you will fondly look back on this cyoa, and realise that maybe the friends you made along the way were the real trucks or something something something something.
Anyway this imagery of Nuwa on top steering and Owen down bottom pressing the gas pedal is mindbogglingly hilarious and extremely probably canon for Borderlands.
Zer0, beside them, is completely nonchalant as your truck runs down a poor passerby or two. The truck bumps violently, but he is busy looking at a map he's pulled up from a fancy wrist machiney thingamajig. ]
Oh, yes. I think so. / In five hundred meters, though / we turn at a bend.
[ He seems to be, like. Fine with this reckless driving, I guess. Meanwhile, they're going to hear and feel a violent rumble shake the entire thing, and some parts of the roof, steel, concrete, stone and all, start to cave in in small chunks at a time. They can kind of hear some muffled screaming and yelling from above, I guess. ]
[Nuwa holds on while passerbies suffer their unfortunate demises. Won't be long before they get to their destination, so perhaps asking right now will be good:]
I believe it's about time you explain how you intend to kill this...Vault Hunter -- and if this detestable man and my role is, to put it bluntly, to serve as fodder while you perform the deed.
[No hard feelings if they're cannon fodder, really. She doesn't intend to die, so she can't really be upset about such a futile role assignment if that's what's going on]
[If he dies like this, it's more fun than being exploded. It'll certainly still hurt the way every death hurts, but hey. These things happen. His soul's not really here anyway.
Owen has no response to being called detestable. That's true and more people should call him that.]
It's obvious, no? / It is a glorious fight. / Bloodshed, viscera.
[ Said so frankly, or so you think it might be, given it's hard to tell tone of voice with this one. He hadn't thought of them as fodder exactly, since Zer0 isn't really in the business of manipulating and necessarily sacrificing other people to get what he wants, unlike some other, more cruel bandits and hunters... but then again, if the dice shake out that way, it doesn't matter to him. He's in it for the challenge. ]
I don't need treasure. / Did you want the prize? That's fine. / Fighting is my love.
[ So it goes, apparently. Maybe this Vault, if it's indeed here, will give you something nice, like a brand new whip. Or a way out of here, wink wink. Anyway, here comes that bend. Zer0 points. ]
[Seems like a good time. Without a way to focus on her main, huge goal back in her world, Nuwa focuses a lot on the immediate goals. Now there's one here: destroy the Vault Guardian. Great, very great!
[ Excellent, indeed. He loves bloodthirsty, but classy people. He and you could get along great Nuwa, probably.
But here we go, the wheel is turned and they get a pretty sick 180, tires skidding and sparking fire across the ground as they make a bend. Frickin' awesome. Maybe slightly less awesome is the fact that there is a steel door in front of you and it is most definitely a bit too hard to brake hard enough to avoid it? You're already on full gas mode!!! anyway. Actually, it's fine, because what's going to happen is that you're going to plow through that steel door with your metric ton of iron teeth and hard heavy steamroller, tearing down those doors most violently. Brace yourselves and hope you have a good hold on the wheel, this is going to get turbulent.
When they arrive, though, they'll have come to a strange basement of sorts, extremely spacious -- and in the center, a kind of arc of some sort that looks like an upside down V, or an A without the bar. The structure, seemingly metal, stone, and something else, remains dormant for the time being.
The Hogcrusher is smoking and steaming, and it's probably a good idea to get out of it. Rest in peace, fucked up murder truck, you worked overtime this day. Zer0 will go ahead and hop out of the vehicle when they arrive where they're at.
Assuming Nuwa and Owen are feeling alright, you can do a short observation round or two, or try to recuperate after that very bumpy ride. ]
Bumpy, like the sea. / Storm, throwing me asunder. / You're a bad driver.
[ It's actually pretty good given nobody ***who matters died. ]
[ While you don't see anything quite yet, the rumbling and crumbling of the ceiling above should certainly tell you that something is coming.
The room itself is strangely bare, though with the Vault itself, it's got an appearance that looks like it was attempted transport, only for the perhaps-once-ship to crash violently and burn. Seems bandits found it and took it over in the end, used it for their own entertainment without really fully understanding the depths of it. ]
Are you Vault Hunters? / You don't look familiar. / Can you fight as well?
[ It's just a short brief of questioning as Zer0 looks them both up and down. Nuwa has her Wedding Invitation, and Owen has... a small dog. While Zer0 is willing to believe that this tiny animal is somehow a super-killer (Pandoran fauna are known to be quite wild and violent), he is not willing to suspend the disbelief that you two are really well-equipped.
You don't even have any armour. ]
Combat is glory. / You seem... ill-prepared for it. / Here, take this gun -- oops.
[ In what's probably a terrible decision, he throws a gun Owen's way.
Except I rolled a 1 I'm literally losing it. So he's 'throwing' this gun to Owen. It is a submachine gun. It is fireable. We have no ammo limits on this cyoa.
However you have to roll every time you fire it to see if you accidentally drop it or not. D'oh, butterfingers. ]
[ Yeah enjoy the gun, it's called the Crit. Also my favourite line is him aggroing you by going 'Oh YEAH? I just SLAPPED you and stuff, whatcha gonna DO about it BIOTCH' then if you beat him he's like 'Nice fight'. The priorities and hypocrite-ness of every other character in this game is one of its funniest things I swear.
The assassin tilts his head at Nuwa for a minute, but she's not the strangest thing he's seen. Even her manner of dress might seem impractical to some, but who's he to judge. And then there's Owen who's in some kind of suit, which also seems impractical, and also Zer0 thinks he looks like an asshole because everyone corporate looks like an asshole, but whatever.
He nods once simply, then, as the ceiling rumbles once again with utmost urgency the final time, as something -- a large laser abruptly runs its course from right above into the ground, carving out a really unnecessarily perfect square from the steel. A giant tip of metal, infused with some glowing unnatural element, stabs into it next, and it lifts the square out from its hole and tosses it aside like a plate. A massive robotic eye looks in from above, the light twitching and observing from the arch, and then to the three. Let's go with a supersized version of this thing for our Vault Guardian for this run. You intrinsically know that killing the Guardian will activate the Vault.
Here we go! The Vault Guardian reaches a robotic, metal hand down through the hole, seeking to squash the enemies it finds! ]
[Nuwa gets squashed because I rolled a 1 right at the start of this fight. Way to go, Nick.
Okay no, haha.
Aiming at something that's descending right onto you is a bad idea. First thing you need is to find a safe spot from where to aim from, she judges. Doesn't communicate with Zer0 or Owen, she just gets moving, trying to figure out any favorable positions she can find on this vault.
and i suppose she misses every single one because seriously you rolled a 1 nick what the hell]
[He's going to stay standing that close to the door in reality (hey is Mithra around?). He moves aside with a roll and trains this new gun on their obvious way into the Vault. He fires directly at it's weird spindly arm, hoping it'll blow off.
[ OUR NUWA. Also Mira I would gagtag that but Mithra doesn't have access to the journal so he is literally very much not here.
She gets running but yeah that 1 is fate laughing down on her, given that the Guardian apparently decides she makes for an appealing target. It reaches down and grabs her in a hand, making a kind of painful, buzzing noise. The heat from the unnatural glow of eridium on its body scorches a heat far too close for comfort, but it's unlike any traditional type of heat. No, it buzzes and vibrates the very air, and for a split second, Nuwa feels what it's like to surge with energy, but in a way that grants not power, but nausea. She'll be feeling that strange, lurching sickness for a while, about three tag rounds before it goes away [1].
The semi-mechanical monster seems to aim to crush Nuwa in its hands like she's merely a twig, when Owen's timely and wonderful nat20 is practically a divine intervention. Though the gun he has isn't necessary the strongest out there, he manages to strike hits directly into its elbow joint in a way that causes its mechanics to falter -- but even more than that, the electric shock effect from the bullets fired from the Crit make sparks fly across the Guardian's arm, making the entire creature seize up as it attempts to discharge. Its hand snapping open, Nuwa can drop to the ground.
It is paralysed for the turn, as its other arm flails around and crashes into the wall to keep itself steady. Zer0 will take this chance to leap into combat himself, taking the nice distractions that Nuwa and Owen provided to also shoot. Mildly effective, but not nearly as much as the shock attack. ]
The spark of wire / joints stiff, motherboard freezing / a critical hit.
[Wow, Nuwa has been experiencing a wide gamut of new sensations since she got dragged into this murdergame. Hunger, getting gifted slippers, trials, black eyes, sickness...will death be the next thing she'll experience?
Nuwa falls to the ground, slamming down. She still is gripping the Invitation, fortunately! Standing up, a little bit shakily and having to take a second to gather her bearings, and she glares at this enemy.
Since she has been dropped so close to it, may as well take advantage of that. Nuwa doesn't fire her weapon. Instead she runs towards the machine, jumps in the air, brandishing the Invitation, the point of the blade aiming forward, ready to plunge it into the joints below the knee. She doesn't even seem to care about the eridium she's bound to come in contact with -- she's already feeling so sick, let's add more to that!]
[Owen absolutely knows what is up with electricity and he does not go rushing in to touch the weird monster. Years of being murdered by Oz means he has no desire to get up close and personal with anything that's sparking like that. Cerberus, likewise, stays next to him as he watches Nuwa decide to touch it more.
Alright.]
She's already looking for it.
[Owen aims the gun at the thing's other arm and fires for a second time.]
[ I love that Nuwa just has slippers. And honestly? I think dying on a cyoa could be very exciting. Imagine her just waking up in the graveyard with Owen of all people, worst pesron to go to the afterlife with.
But anwyay, despite the sickness, Nuwa regains her footing! With determination undying, she runs forward and jams the barrel of the Wedding Invitation right into the paneling in the knee joint, and the alien machine buzzes, whirrs, its eye spins as it looks down towards Nuwa and the interruption. It attempts to bend down further, but the barrel creaks but doesn't quite break, and it can't properly bend down as a result [19!]. Wow, I wonder what kind of damage would happen if you pulled the trigger point blank like this?
Owen, for his part, fires a shot into the other arm as it reaches down to swipe at the wizard, firing while being nicely on the move to dodge the swipe, shocking bullets finding purchase on its palm and seizing up its fingers with electric shocks [19!]. It makes a series of buzzes in mixed alarm and probably some form of alien irritation. Hands and knees compromised. It attempts to make up for it by grabbing a large metal crate and throwing it in Owen's direction -- this pesky annoyance that's been firing at him first, before it decides how to deal with Nuwa. ]
[Don't count your chickens before they hatch, Nuwa. She trembles for a moment, her grin disappearing when she feels the horrible malaise of the eridium. It takes quite a bit of strength and resolve to pull the trigger instead of collapsing into a heap because of this nasty sensation.
[Getting his ass kicked is a near daily experience at home. That doesn't mean he enjoys it. As soon as the crate gets tossed at him, he stops firing and focuses on dodging the crate.
Not today, you weird spindly limbed creature.
He'll probably resurrect whenever this is all completed, but dying still hurts!]
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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I'll help.
[For now, anyway.]
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Can you drive a car? / No? Well, you better learn quick. / Get to it, chop chop.
[ Fortunately it seems like straight road, granted heading downwards for the time being so Owen doesn't need to do much... yet, but familiarise yourself quick. He'll leap down after unceremoniously plinking Owen down in that seat to also help Nuwa up, so now you can both scream in Driver's Responsibility. Or maybe you can just revel in the fact that you can just absolutely run everything over with a fucking armed-to-the-teeth steamroller, dealer's choice. ]
To the lowest floor. / A Vault Guardian will come. / I mean to kill it.
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Nuwa grips Zer0 and gets up, accepting shared Driver's Responsibility. Move, Owen, you and Nuwa are sharing, yup.
........
Does this even have seatbelts? Perhaps that's only for trucks, she supposes. Well, whatever]
Full speed. Time is of the essence.
[Says the one who fully intends to bail if this looks like it'll crash against a wall. She probably would be able to pull that off without terrible injuries.
Truthfully, with the penchant for violence, the disregard for other people's lives and the drive to fulfill goals no matter what, she's halfway there to be a Vault Hunter. Perhaps we all should be glad she's not interested in being one, hah]
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He does, however, press down on the gas pedal and lets Nuwa handles the actual wheel of the thing.
Cerberus is still in the car and biting Owen's broken arm, but it's not the worst he's ever had! He's still alive!
I hope they get to run over everybody in their path.]
Straight down?
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Anyway this imagery of Nuwa on top steering and Owen down bottom pressing the gas pedal is mindbogglingly hilarious and extremely probably canon for Borderlands.
Zer0, beside them, is completely nonchalant as your truck runs down a poor passerby or two. The truck bumps violently, but he is busy looking at a map he's pulled up from a fancy wrist machiney thingamajig. ]
Oh, yes. I think so. / In five hundred meters, though / we turn at a bend.
[ He seems to be, like. Fine with this reckless driving, I guess. Meanwhile, they're going to hear and feel a violent rumble shake the entire thing, and some parts of the roof, steel, concrete, stone and all, start to cave in in small chunks at a time. They can kind of hear some muffled screaming and yelling from above, I guess. ]
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I believe it's about time you explain how you intend to kill this...Vault Hunter -- and if this detestable man and my role is, to put it bluntly, to serve as fodder while you perform the deed.
[No hard feelings if they're cannon fodder, really. She doesn't intend to die, so she can't really be upset about such a futile role assignment if that's what's going on]
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Owen has no response to being called detestable. That's true and more people should call him that.]
Are we running the Vault Hunter over?
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[ Said so frankly, or so you think it might be, given it's hard to tell tone of voice with this one. He hadn't thought of them as fodder exactly, since Zer0 isn't really in the business of manipulating and necessarily sacrificing other people to get what he wants, unlike some other, more cruel bandits and hunters... but then again, if the dice shake out that way, it doesn't matter to him. He's in it for the challenge. ]
I don't need treasure. / Did you want the prize? That's fine. / Fighting is my love.
[ So it goes, apparently. Maybe this Vault, if it's indeed here, will give you something nice, like a brand new whip. Or a way out of here, wink wink. Anyway, here comes that bend. Zer0 points. ]
Turn the wheel!
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[Seems like a good time. Without a way to focus on her main, huge goal back in her world, Nuwa focuses a lot on the immediate goals. Now there's one here: destroy the Vault Guardian. Great, very great!
Turning the wheel!]
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So they're doing a full speed turn into whatever bend they're going into.]
I'll enjoy the blood.
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But here we go, the wheel is turned and they get a pretty sick 180, tires skidding and sparking fire across the ground as they make a bend. Frickin' awesome. Maybe slightly less awesome is the fact that there is a steel door in front of you and it is most definitely a bit too hard to brake hard enough to avoid it? You're already on full gas mode!!! anyway. Actually, it's fine, because what's going to happen is that you're going to plow through that steel door with your metric ton of iron teeth and hard heavy steamroller, tearing down those doors most violently. Brace yourselves and hope you have a good hold on the wheel, this is going to get turbulent.
When they arrive, though, they'll have come to a strange basement of sorts, extremely spacious -- and in the center, a kind of arc of some sort that looks like an upside down V, or an A without the bar. The structure, seemingly metal, stone, and something else, remains dormant for the time being.
The Hogcrusher is smoking and steaming, and it's probably a good idea to get out of it. Rest in peace, fucked up murder truck, you worked overtime this day. Zer0 will go ahead and hop out of the vehicle when they arrive where they're at.
Assuming Nuwa and Owen are feeling alright, you can do a short observation round or two, or try to recuperate after that very bumpy ride. ]
Bumpy, like the sea. / Storm, throwing me asunder. / You're a bad driver.
[ It's actually pretty good given nobody ***who matters died. ]
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[...no, Nuwa, you are a bad driver. You don't know how to drive.
Nuwa hops off the vehicle as well, making sure her sniper rifle was still intact and in good shape. Seems like it'll still work]
I'm ready.
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[He has to crawl out of the Hogcrusher, but whatever, they're all alive.
For now.
He looks around for the Vault guy their Vault guy wants to kill.]
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The room itself is strangely bare, though with the Vault itself, it's got an appearance that looks like it was attempted transport, only for the perhaps-once-ship to crash violently and burn. Seems bandits found it and took it over in the end, used it for their own entertainment without really fully understanding the depths of it. ]
Are you Vault Hunters? / You don't look familiar. / Can you fight as well?
[ It's just a short brief of questioning as Zer0 looks them both up and down. Nuwa has her Wedding Invitation, and Owen has... a small dog. While Zer0 is willing to believe that this tiny animal is somehow a super-killer (Pandoran fauna are known to be quite wild and violent), he is not willing to suspend the disbelief that you two are really well-equipped.
You don't even have any armour. ]
Combat is glory. / You seem... ill-prepared for it. / Here, take this gun -- oops.
[ In what's probably a terrible decision, he throws a gun Owen's way.
Except I rolled a 1 I'm literally losing it. So he's 'throwing' this gun to Owen. It is a submachine gun. It is fireable. We have no ammo limits on this cyoa.
However you have to roll every time you fire it to see if you accidentally drop it or not. D'oh, butterfingers. ]
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Nuwa doesn't seem even remotely worried]
Ahaha...I have experience.
[Surviving in Da'at isn't easy. She has been there since olden times, she'll be fine in here too]
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Cerberus looks as mean as ever, and is waiting to find something else to attack. ]
I can fight.
[ Usually with magic, but they don't need to know that. ]
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The assassin tilts his head at Nuwa for a minute, but she's not the strangest thing he's seen. Even her manner of dress might seem impractical to some, but who's he to judge. And then there's Owen who's in some kind of suit, which also seems impractical, and also Zer0 thinks he looks like an asshole because everyone corporate looks like an asshole, but whatever.
He nods once simply, then, as the ceiling rumbles once again with utmost urgency the final time, as something -- a large laser abruptly runs its course from right above into the ground, carving out a really unnecessarily perfect square from the steel. A giant tip of metal, infused with some glowing unnatural element, stabs into it next, and it lifts the square out from its hole and tosses it aside like a plate. A massive robotic eye looks in from above, the light twitching and observing from the arch, and then to the three. Let's go with a supersized version of this thing for our Vault Guardian for this run. You intrinsically know that killing the Guardian will activate the Vault.
Here we go! The Vault Guardian reaches a robotic, metal hand down through the hole, seeking to squash the enemies it finds! ]
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Okay no, haha.
Aiming at something that's descending right onto you is a bad idea. First thing you need is to find a safe spot from where to aim from, she judges. Doesn't communicate with Zer0 or Owen, she just gets moving, trying to figure out any favorable positions she can find on this vault.
and i suppose she misses every single one because seriously you rolled a 1 nick what the hell]
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I can't believe he rolled a 20. ]
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She gets running but yeah that 1 is fate laughing down on her, given that the Guardian apparently decides she makes for an appealing target. It reaches down and grabs her in a hand, making a kind of painful, buzzing noise. The heat from the unnatural glow of eridium on its body scorches a heat far too close for comfort, but it's unlike any traditional type of heat. No, it buzzes and vibrates the very air, and for a split second, Nuwa feels what it's like to surge with energy, but in a way that grants not power, but nausea. She'll be feeling that strange, lurching sickness for a while, about three tag rounds before it goes away [1].
The semi-mechanical monster seems to aim to crush Nuwa in its hands like she's merely a twig, when Owen's timely and wonderful nat20 is practically a divine intervention. Though the gun he has isn't necessary the strongest out there, he manages to strike hits directly into its elbow joint in a way that causes its mechanics to falter -- but even more than that, the electric shock effect from the bullets fired from the Crit make sparks fly across the Guardian's arm, making the entire creature seize up as it attempts to discharge. Its hand snapping open, Nuwa can drop to the ground.
It is paralysed for the turn, as its other arm flails around and crashes into the wall to keep itself steady. Zer0 will take this chance to leap into combat himself, taking the nice distractions that Nuwa and Owen provided to also shoot. Mildly effective, but not nearly as much as the shock attack. ]
The spark of wire / joints stiff, motherboard freezing / a critical hit.
[ He sounds approving. ]
Is there a weak point?
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Nuwa falls to the ground, slamming down. She still is gripping the Invitation, fortunately! Standing up, a little bit shakily and having to take a second to gather her bearings, and she glares at this enemy.
Since she has been dropped so close to it, may as well take advantage of that. Nuwa doesn't fire her weapon. Instead she runs towards the machine, jumps in the air, brandishing the Invitation, the point of the blade aiming forward, ready to plunge it into the joints below the knee. She doesn't even seem to care about the eridium she's bound to come in contact with -- she's already feeling so sick, let's add more to that!]
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Alright.]
She's already looking for it.
[Owen aims the gun at the thing's other arm and fires for a second time.]
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But anwyay, despite the sickness, Nuwa regains her footing! With determination undying, she runs forward and jams the barrel of the Wedding Invitation right into the paneling in the knee joint, and the alien machine buzzes, whirrs, its eye spins as it looks down towards Nuwa and the interruption. It attempts to bend down further, but the barrel creaks but doesn't quite break, and it can't properly bend down as a result [19!]. Wow, I wonder what kind of damage would happen if you pulled the trigger point blank like this?
Owen, for his part, fires a shot into the other arm as it reaches down to swipe at the wizard, firing while being nicely on the move to dodge the swipe, shocking bullets finding purchase on its palm and seizing up its fingers with electric shocks [19!]. It makes a series of buzzes in mixed alarm and probably some form of alien irritation. Hands and knees compromised. It attempts to make up for it by grabbing a large metal crate and throwing it in Owen's direction -- this pesky annoyance that's been firing at him first, before it decides how to deal with Nuwa. ]
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You're going down.
[Don't count your chickens before they hatch, Nuwa. She trembles for a moment, her grin disappearing when she feels the horrible malaise of the eridium. It takes quite a bit of strength and resolve to pull the trigger instead of collapsing into a heap because of this nasty sensation.
Here we go! Firing!]
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Not today, you weird spindly limbed creature.
He'll probably resurrect whenever this is all completed, but dying still hurts!]
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✦ CLOSING.